Loss

There is no greater loss than the loss of a parent. That is one quarter of life from which we know we will never be disappointed; that love will be showered unconditionally.

It seems impossible to cope with such loss and this is exactly the reason why we stop listening to the advise of people as soon as they start saying, "Everything is going to be ok!" These words appear true only when your parents say so; for it is only they who can possibly mend the pigeonholes of our anxities.

I would be wrong if I say that the words of wisdom which our near ones impart are false-they are true in their own way. Things do eventually seem to be O.K not because the gap is mended or fulfilled but because where life is a tormentor, time is a great healer and we are but petty fools. On finding ourselves in siuations which we cannot escape, we as humans, tend to seek relief. Most often, the best way is by cherishing the memory of those we have lost by adhering to what they had taught us all their lifes and also by loving and caring for those whom they loved and cared for. So, in a way things do get better, or atleast it they become less cruel.

I can only imagine the loss of a parent, and it is a nerve recking feeling. But, if I come to such a situation in life, then I think my primary concern would be myself. Yes, it feels odd to admit it, but as shocking as it sounds, it is really the truth. Every human (or probably its just me) is made in such a manner that nothing upsets us more than shortcomings in our own life. No matter how much we cry for others, we really weep for our "own" loss. We hate being in a situation where we lose a person who would/could love us unconditionally. And so begins a thought process whereby we force ourselves (sub-consciously) into fact situations in which we would miss the presence of our parent.

I think it would help, if we try to rise above ourselves (which is pretty hard) to acknowledge the fact that life is life; that it is hard. Death is an aspect which no one can escape and it gives peace (as little as it may seem) if we start to focus our attention towards the fact that death could have been more cruel. Of course, death is always sudden, and its a silly question when someone asks, "was it sudden?" for who would expect death of a close one even when it was foreseeable? It seems that it should give us some relief to acknowledge that people die worse deaths, and that in passing away our loved one did not have to suffer at the death bed.

These are things which I feel from an outsider's point of view, the fact being that I have had close encounters only in having to cope with the death of close relatives and probably that is the very reason I am able to think and write about it in such a manner....